I've been thinking a lot about the way I talk recently. I know, when I'm in a depressive episode, I take on a lower affect in the way I talk. However, more presently for me the past few days, I've been thinking about the very minor ways I change the way I talk around groups of people.
I visited Houston from the 17th to the 20th, to see M@, Kip, Frog, and Robbie in person and hang out. And it went really well! I love being around them, and I loved my time there. On the way back, though, M@'s dad drove me to the airport, and I. Idk. I spoke very normally, I guess. It's a weird thing to be self-conscious of, but I have a very "gay" voice. I've been directly profiled as gay thrice now because of the speaking tone and manner I naturally assume, and it's always a shock to hear just HOW gay I sound when I'm not in a depressive episode. I've kinda internalized the "depressive episode" voice as my internal voice, as I usually talk to myself when I'm, well, depressed. Sometimes I speak what I'm typing whenever I write these, and so that assumes the lower tone.
But, yeah. I felt different, when speaking to M@'s dad. He's a cool guy, I think? We had a pretty good talk, and he's a nice guy other than the time he misgendered someone, though I hope that was a mistake rather than intentional. Anyways, yeah, because of that I put on a more normal affect, and didn't really talk much about my existence other than my mental health (when he asked how college was going).
Anyways, I've been really into Lego Universe lately. I joined a private server called Lego Universe Reborn, which is ran by one guy, and it's kind of a blast to re-experience the game after a decade. I've had great times with people there! Shoutouts egmo, Idefix, NeonChronoLotus, Gabri, and others. But, uh, I realize I type and talk extremely differently in non-RFCK-adjacent (or, rather, places where I know literally 0 people) circles of the internet. I was noticing this too when doing stuff in the Yo-kai Watch community, but I talk so... formal? And off-kilter? I assume this bizarre dialect, until eventually I just end up mirroring the standard dialect of the community.
I say "standard dialect" because that's exactly what's happened with Lego Universe. There's a pretty strict chat filter - a holdover from the actual LEGO Universe's kid-friendly days - and so simple things like "heck", "booyah", and most everything I say, really, are banned. And so everyone in-game talks like a 2010s-era gamer, and that then extends to the community discord. And, so... I've just also adopted that, when I'm around these people? It's weird. It's a weird way to naturally talk, but it's what comes naturally when I'm playing Lego Universe.
Language is weird. I think I'm pro-extremely-bizarre-and-strict chat filter, purely because it makes the act of dialect construction interesting. I gotta say things like "fare thee well" because "seeya" is banned (and "see you" is too clunky). It's pretty, uh, idk. It's something.